I’ve been reading a lot recently
about guilt and shame. Most of what I’ve been reading relates to societies in
general and how one society might be “guilt based” and another “shame based.”
Many of these articles sought to use these terms to describe the
difference between Western societies (generally, “guilt based”), and Eastern
societies (especially Islamic, which are more “shame based).
Here’s a quote taken from
the TorahBytes blog:
Guilt is the result of breaking
a clearly defined law or rule. Guilt is usually accompanied by a fear of
punishment at the hands of an authority of some kind. Taking a cookie when your
mom or dad told you not to may result in guilt. A judge determines guilt based
on whether or not you have broken the law. A person is either guilty or not. If
found guilty, then a sentence of some kind would be given.
Shame is not so straightforward.
Shame often comes from a deep internal sense of having done something
unacceptable due to a sense of failure to measure up to certain standards or
expectations. Guilt may be included, especially if a rule or law is broken, but
not all rules carry the same level of shame and a rule doesn't need to be
broken to experience shame. Shame is present when there is a perception that
our behavior is such that we don't deserve to be accepted by those with whom we
have relationship. That relationship could be family, friends, community group,
work place, school, and so on. Shame often leads to a desire to hide from
others. Embarrassment often comes from a sense of shame. (http://www.torahbytes.org/69-49.htm)
What I’m about to describe is
woefully general in nature, but I think it will give you some sense of what
guilt and shame do to us, and how they are handled.
Guilt is essentially a law-based
problem. One breaks a law and is judged to be guilty. Punishment of some kind
follows guilt, and is also determined by law. When a person is guilty, the
problem is resolved, as far as society is concerned, by the exercise of
punishment. Thus in the United States, for example, under our legal system one
is considered innocent until proven guilty. Once guilt is determined,
punishment is determined. It might require serving time in jail, or payment of
a fine, both, or even serving house arrest or performing a certain number of
hours doing community service. Once the punishment has been met, the guilty
person can pretty much move on (this is not completely true, but it is
generally true).
Shame is something altogether
different. A guilty person may or may not feel any sense of shame, and a shamed
person, though also guilty, may take a much longer time to recover and move on,
even though legally the guilt has been dealt with by punishment. Shame is more
related to the relationship we have with others. It is almost always
experienced more intensely, more emotionally than is guilt.
In guilt-based societies, once
the punishment has been satisfied, people tend to move on and recover. When
they don’t, it’s usually because there’s also an element of shame involved. But
in shame-based societies, there is really only one way to recover, and that is
to have one’s “honor” restored. Shame destroys one’s personal honor. Shame
simply kicks a person down, and causes others to look down on them, think less
of them, trust them less, and consider them “unworthy.”
Interestingly, these concepts
show up when trying to reach people with the gospel of Jesus, or to teach them
biblical truths. Western societies are almost totally consumed with guilt. So
to us, we want a Jesus who “pardons” our sins, removes our “guilt”, and “redeems
us” in the sense of freeing us from the guilt and consequence of our sins. Eastern societies are often puzzled by this because they operate on a “shame-based” concept. They need to hear that
Jesus takes away their shame, restores their honor, and elevates them once
again to a respected, honorable state of life. If you’re a Westerner, that last
part won’t resonate with you as much as what I said about guilt.
Here’s a great exercise,
especially for those who use a computerized Bible study program. Run a quick concordance search for the words, “shame” and “ashamed”. Go
spend the several minutes it will take to read all the verses. You’ll likely be
quite surprised at how much the Bible says about shame, and it’s connection to
sin and our standing with God.
Do the same thing with the
words, “guilt” and “guilty”. Spend the minutes it takes to read those passages
too. The result is quite interesting. Westerners weren’t altogether wrong after
all. “Guilt” and “guilty” are words frequently associated with sinners and
people whose relationship with God is amiss.
I suggest that there
is something here we must learn. It’s not a one or the other thing. It’s
not the case that we should choose guilt over shame, or shame over guilt. The
Bible teaches that sinners who disobey God are both guilty and shamed.
Here’s the good news.
Jesus takes care of both problems. Sinners are guilty of violating God’s law.
Jesus redeemed us by paying the price of forgiveness. But sinners are also
shamed by their sin, but Jesus restores us to honor by removing the very cause
of our shame and making something out of us we could never be on our own.
We need to deal with these
issues of guilt and shame because in real life, they are often found together.
Guilty people are shamed by their sins. It is here that preachers often
fail people the most. If we preach a message that emphasizes the removal of
guilt, we leave people knowing that Jesus died for their sins, but they may
live out their lives burdened by shame. Or they may have only a vague sense
that God forgives in some legal sense, but they never leave their life of sin
because shame isn’t significant to them. Either way, we leave them with only
part of the good news. The whole good news is that Jesus removes our guilt, and
covers our shame. We need to explore this more!
I think Ezra had it right:
and I said, “O my God, I am
ashamed and embarrassed to lift up my face to You, my God, for our iniquities
have risen above our heads and our guilt has grown even to the heavens. — Ezra 9:6 (NASB95)
So did Paul have it right:
11 For the grace of God has
appeared, bringing salvation to all men, 12 instructing us to deny ungodliness
and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present
age, 13 looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our
great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, 14 who gave Himself for us to redeem us
from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own
possession, zealous for good deeds. — Titus 2:11–14 (NASB95)
Jesus will remove both your
guilt and your shame. Now that’s some good news.
